A New Song
Through the past several weeks I have been doing a lot of struggling and a lot of fleeing. Fleeing from the Lord, fleeing from some of my daunting responsibilities, fleeing from truth, and it took quite a bit of crumbling to bring me to where I am now. Since this blog was started with the intention of being open-hearted with myself and with my readers (whomever you may be) I need to be up front and confess that my personal quiet-times this semester have been very far from consistent. I allowed myself to get caught up in the stress and rigor of daily life, and was somehow foolishly convinced that my time was better spent on my schoolwork, lesson learned my friends.
I realized in an evening of feverish (and pretty bitter) journaling that the very things I was searching for in school, in my friendships, and my commitments were the things that could only be found 100% of the time in the arms of the very one that I was failing to spend time with. Love, Acceptance, Validation, Peace, Success, the list goes on and on. I had lost sight of the goodness of the Lord, not because He stopped being good-by no means is that true-but because I was determined to go it on my own. I cannot even begin to tell you how often I get caught in this trap of faulty self-confidence and sinful pride and end up on my face. When I lost sight of His goodness, the Lord gave me what I have come to refer to as "difficult goods." Those things that you can see the Lord in when looking back, but when in the middle of them, you cannot see anything. The situations that test your limits, your faith, your joy, and your determination to see the goodness of the Lord, and I all but willingly succumbed to the storm. Once again, my joy became contingent on this fleeting existence we call "life." You would think I would have learned by now.
However, thus entered the goodness of the Lord. In the form of wonderful fellowship in my local church and friendships with people who constantly reminded me of the truth, and encouraged me to press on. One friend in particular who has been such an incredible blessing in my life, I have the immense pleasure of sharing a class with, and serving with weekly. (EmTay, thank you for being such a vessel of the Lord's love to me, for ALWAYS having a smile and a "hey friend!" and for being joyful in all circumstances. You are such an incredible blessing from the Lord in my life, and I love you so very much.) Once again the situations that I entered into with the intent to serve, I ended up being served by my fellow volunteers. Sometimes I think the Lord loves irony just as much as I do.
Enter the previous mentioned journaling. When I hit rock bottom, with whom I feel very acquainted with, and I began the bitter chronicling of every thought in my head, the Lord showed me how I was depriving myself of His goodness and His love. So, I did the only thing I knew to do: I dove head and heart first into one of the most rewarding quiet-times in my almost 20 years.
John Piper's sermon "In the Pits with a King" is what I turned to. I figured, if this season of my life was anything at all it was most certainly a pit. At first I thought the sermon was going to be about being in a pit of life with THE KING, as in Jesus, but what I found was infinitely better. Piper preaches this sermon (35 years ago) from Psalms 40:1-3 where King David is crying out to the Lord to deliver him. (The entire text of this sermon can be found linked above, but I will list Piper's main points and some quotes that were big "take-aways" for me.)
In verses 1-3 we see King David doing 3 things.
I realized in an evening of feverish (and pretty bitter) journaling that the very things I was searching for in school, in my friendships, and my commitments were the things that could only be found 100% of the time in the arms of the very one that I was failing to spend time with. Love, Acceptance, Validation, Peace, Success, the list goes on and on. I had lost sight of the goodness of the Lord, not because He stopped being good-by no means is that true-but because I was determined to go it on my own. I cannot even begin to tell you how often I get caught in this trap of faulty self-confidence and sinful pride and end up on my face. When I lost sight of His goodness, the Lord gave me what I have come to refer to as "difficult goods." Those things that you can see the Lord in when looking back, but when in the middle of them, you cannot see anything. The situations that test your limits, your faith, your joy, and your determination to see the goodness of the Lord, and I all but willingly succumbed to the storm. Once again, my joy became contingent on this fleeting existence we call "life." You would think I would have learned by now.
However, thus entered the goodness of the Lord. In the form of wonderful fellowship in my local church and friendships with people who constantly reminded me of the truth, and encouraged me to press on. One friend in particular who has been such an incredible blessing in my life, I have the immense pleasure of sharing a class with, and serving with weekly. (EmTay, thank you for being such a vessel of the Lord's love to me, for ALWAYS having a smile and a "hey friend!" and for being joyful in all circumstances. You are such an incredible blessing from the Lord in my life, and I love you so very much.) Once again the situations that I entered into with the intent to serve, I ended up being served by my fellow volunteers. Sometimes I think the Lord loves irony just as much as I do.
Enter the previous mentioned journaling. When I hit rock bottom, with whom I feel very acquainted with, and I began the bitter chronicling of every thought in my head, the Lord showed me how I was depriving myself of His goodness and His love. So, I did the only thing I knew to do: I dove head and heart first into one of the most rewarding quiet-times in my almost 20 years.
John Piper's sermon "In the Pits with a King" is what I turned to. I figured, if this season of my life was anything at all it was most certainly a pit. At first I thought the sermon was going to be about being in a pit of life with THE KING, as in Jesus, but what I found was infinitely better. Piper preaches this sermon (35 years ago) from Psalms 40:1-3 where King David is crying out to the Lord to deliver him. (The entire text of this sermon can be found linked above, but I will list Piper's main points and some quotes that were big "take-aways" for me.)
In verses 1-3 we see King David doing 3 things.
- First, David is in a muddy pit, (vs.2) and Piper describes it thus: "anything that causes a sense of helplessness and desperation and threatens to ruin life or take it away, that is the king's pit." At this point, I was hooked.
- Second, David cries out to the Lord.(vs.1) Piper points out that "the Lord loves to answer childlike prayers."
- Third, David waits for the Lord. (vs.1) Here is where the conviction started. I am not good at waiting, patience, or lack of control. Piper outlines how we are to wait for the Lord: Humbly (Ps. 37:9,11) and Hopefully (Ps. 39:7, Ps. 130:5, Ps. 42:1-2). Piper pointed out that "we show how badly we need the chastisement of His delay when we fail to wait patiently." Friends, that felt like hot coals sliding down my throat as I digested that truth.
- First, the Lord delivers David. (vs.2) Piper says, "the essence of the rescue is the restoration of that strong feeling of God's nearness and help." If that didn't describe everything I was missing, I don't know what could.
- Second, the Lord gives David a song to sing. (vs.3) This is where the post title comes from, but I'm getting ahead of myself. "God lets us hit the pits, leaves us there a while and then brings us out into the fresh air of His grace again." Wow, talk about a powerful visual.
Piper's last point is that in verse 3 David mentions that others see and are saved. Friends, here lies the beauty of the pit of life. That the Lord brings us to the end of ourselves, claims us, rescues us, and gives us a new song to sing, This song is not for us alone, but one that we are charged to sing wherever we go.
"The music of the rescued saints is a tremendous means of evangelism."
It was at this point I realized that the Lord had already given me my new song. Something that I had been clinging to for weeks, without realizing that was what it was.
"I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living!
Wait for the LORD;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the LORD!"
Psalm 27:13-14
This is my new song. This is my goal. That I would remain confident and believe that I will see the goodness of the Lord. In everything, in all circumstances. That I will wait patiently for the Lord, and allow Him to strengthen my heart while I wait.
Because friends, there is NO PIT that we can fall into that God's love is not deeper still.
Hope this was encouraging to you, thanks for making it all the way through this long post, feel free to like, comment or share.
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